I bet you just can't wait til Chloe starts having Chloe-isms...
Another Saydee-ism at the expense of my pride...
It has been a really, very, super, tremendously bad week. I should rephrase (I think)... it has been a hard week. First and foremost, everyone has been really good about asking how I've been feeling and seemingly caring. I feel, however, that no one really allows you to take the time needed to get well. It's just like... POOF!... back into life you go. Life has no pause button. I remember Mike expressing this feeling to me when we lost John. This feeling or occurrence can be a good one. I'm sure it has to do with survival. There is no time to sit and sulk and dwell. Life simply won't allow it. There are obligations. Some of them GREAT... some of them icky. Still... all obligations saying, "Pick me! Do me! Finish me! Remember me!!!!" Just waiting... all of them waiting... for ME! And then... the expectations... well... I won't ramble anymore. I just feel... Tired... if anyone truly wonders how I feel... I feel tired. I feel like I want to push pause. To regroup. To catch my breath. To inhale. To exhale. To breathe.
Amongst all this "healing" my girls have caught both the stomach flu and the cold flu within two weeks of each other. Add teething, sleepless nights, life's challenges... The outcome=a very grumpy household. (Some of us more than others;)
Yesterday during one of Saydee's ranting and ravings and the end of my wit, I found myself questioning Saydee...
"What do you need? Medicine? Food? Sleep??? What!? You are being completely crazy!"
She said, "I'm just hungry and you haven't fed me ANYTHING!" (Entirely untrue).
I said, "Okay, so what do you want?"
She said, "There's nothing! The cupboards are empty! There's no string cheese, there's no boiled eggs, there is NOTHING!" (Meaning nothing readily available, ie CRAP).
I say, "Sayd, the cupboards are NOT empty. I can make you just about anything you'd like. Grilled cheese, cheese quesadilla, chicken quesadilla, chicken and rice, meat sandwich, peanut butter and jelly... what would you like?"
She looked at me very sternly. She paused for a moment. She said very crass and matter-of-fact, "I don't think you are able to make any of those things properly."
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT!?
God knows I love her... but God also knows the girl can make me crazy! Good thing, I dare say, we are all on the other side of this little bug. (Right, God?) Amen.
4 comments:
Shell I am right there with you! Minus the heart surgery and the wild 4yr? old!
Life totally doesn't allow for a pause! Lately it's driving me crazy too! We are just handed all these trials and good things as well, but then forced to keep a truckin'! We should have a girls night ASAP!!!!!! (somewhere far far away :)
I love your post! I may not be going through the exact same things as yourself but pretty darn close. Your not alone and "pause" is really called, caller ID. It gives you a break to some extent:) You are doing well, hang in there.
I hope that you can get the rest you need and things get better soon. I can't help but laugh at Saydee, sorry. She is just too dang cute!
mrs. shelli sounds like you and the hubs should hand off those beautiful babies and go away for the weekend! its okay to ask for time!
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