{the blessing of feeling like me again}

My sweet Grandma Marge had heard of a woman in town who she called a "witch doctor."  She told me she had been helpful to people she knew, including my cousin Kristin and asked if I would be willing to go to her and see if it could help me at all.  At the time, I felt nothing was worth shunning or turning down.  So, of course I was totally up for it... intrigued, interested, and curious. 

The woman does Reiki healing and I am still not quite sure what is taking place, expect that I am able to escape from life for about an hour, lying down with my eyes closed with no guilt AND with a babysitter to boot!  (Maybe that is healing in and of itself :)  I have gone twice and while there I am thinking... this is a hoax...  Nothing is happening or going to happen... but I am open... I just don't feel some big revelation entering my soul... I don't have certain memories come to mind and think, "Oh, that's right!?  I forgot about that!"  In fact, I often feel very sorry for those close to me because I have an uncanny memory pertaining to all things scary, hurtful, and ugly... and very little memory for the details of day to day life... So, needless to say... I REMEMBER what has gotten me to today.  The really GREAT which has filled my life with love and laughter and my soul with life... and more accurately... the really awful or painstaking memories that fill my heart with fear and lack of understanding. However, the next day when I awoke... I felt like... ME... the ME I remember... the me with energy.  The me who loves to serve and please.  The me who doesn't tire with every tiny chore.  The me who doesn't care about my kids "messes" and fret about how much energy they will require to clean up because MY beautiful children made them!... the children I have longed for and dreamed about my ENTIRE life!  The best part was... it LASTED.  It lasted the day... the night... the week... and all the time until my next appointment and happened again with refreshing uniqueness following the next appointment.

I am not sure why... I am not sure how... I am only sure I am grateful for my Grandma and her sweet kindness and charity and for the woman who has found her talents in life and is willing to share them.   I am, and have always been, thankful for the journey that has lead me to today.  For today I feel strength, confidence, ability, faith, and so much more.